Have you ever been between jobs and you desperately wanted some ‘writing on the wall’ kind of clarity on what to do next?
I remember the tumult of emotions, wondering where to find this elusive “peace of God” everyone kept talking about. In my career, God used two significant moments of crisis to bring deep transformation.
The Career High (And Crash)
I had just returned from maternity leave. I found myself working twice as hard to earn my place in the workforce. Eventually, the promotions, accolades, and recognition followed. I had done it!
I was juggling work, parenting my toddlers, managing a home, along with church responsibilities all perfectly. Many would express their admiration, and I would respond with the appropriate amount of “Christian humility.”
Then came the crash, at the 3.5-year mark of holding it all together.
I was running so hard that I ignored the subtle cracks and lies I was telling myself about my identity. I quit one day, believing confidently that a better job would come my way that would soothe the restlessness I was experiencing. Surely, it was only a matter of weeks before I had to choose from a list of job offers. But 2 weeks became 4, then 4 became 8, then 12.
No jobs lined up for me.
Bargaining with God
As I went through the stages of “what just happened,” I found myself bargaining with God. Over the years, so many of God’s attributes filled me with awe, love, and reverence for him. But more than anything else, it is the tender parental heart of God that has moved me.
As a loving parent, he does not give in to a toddler’s tantrum or their entitled cries. Instead, he patiently loves, refines, and shepherds a child up into maturity. It was the first time I recognised that God cared more about who I was becoming than what I was getting.
The Holy Spirit shone into my heart and exposed the subtle but ugly cracks in my foundation. Self-reliance, pride, condescension, idolatry of self, the list went on. If the cracks got any deeper, the building of my life would come crashing down.
I went to the Lord to barter a solution for my outward symptoms—helping me through a job transition. But he exposed a deeper problem at the root. It was painstaking work, but by God’s grace, for once, I did not hide it or mask it. Instead, I acknowledged, confessed, and repented for all the things he lit up, wholly surrendering them to him.
Unlearning Self-Reliance
I did not know how not to be self-reliant. I realised I trusted God in theory. But when things shook up, I was my own god. For genuine trust to take root, it needs stress testing. God calls us to throw up the white flag and acknowledge we are out of hacks; to say, “I need you to help me, Lord—in ways only you know best. I’m not just surrendering my problem to you. I’m surrendering myself.”
The process took a year, and through it, he tenderly cemented the cracks in the foundation of my heart.
A decade later, the building of my life is taller and wider than I could have ever imagined. I could never have withstood the responsibilities and pressures if he had not done that deep work on my heart’s foundation. His word is true. As Matt 6:33 says, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Seeking does not indicate 2 hours on a Sunday morning. It indicates an active pursuit of him, above everything else. Is his righteousness lovelier to you than anything else in your life? If you are in a job transition, ask yourself if you trust God to build your life better than you can imagine. If you understand that theoretically, but practically your heart is stormy, examine the foundations of your life. It is his mercy to expose the identity cracks and heal them.
The Cushy High-Paying Job
The second time God used crisis to bring change was when I was restless in a cushy, high-paying job. I desperately desired more than being a cog in the wheel of a well-oiled corporate engine. But I did not have the courage to quit and join a start-up. It was another moment where I wanted God to “tell me what to do.”
Have you ever experienced God to be frustratingly silent when you desperately need direction? Why does he do that?!
Again, God exposed my toddler mindset.
I wanted God to tell me what to do, but the underlying truth was that I did not want to take responsibility for it. The counsel of a friend helped me so much during this time. God desires for us to be mature, responsible adults. Often, his will is not a dot but like an ocean.
Within the boundaries of his Word, we have so much freedom to choose. He only promises his presence at all times. Of course, there are times in the Bible where he specifically provides a course of action. But his desire is for us to grow, mature, and become more like him.
This has been liberating to me because I only see things in part.
Maturing in Christ in Between Jobs
As Paul says, “For we know in part. . . When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (1 Cor. 13:9a).
When my son was 5 years old, he would ask me every evening if he could go out to play at 6 pm. I would strap a watch on him and remind him what the number 7 looked like because that was the time to be back home.
Today he is 17. Imagine if he came to me every day and asked if he could go out to play. If I had to remind him what the number 7 looked like. It would be mortifying! I would not have done my duty as a parent if I were helping him make the same decisions as when he was 5.
God expects us to grow up—to trust him and actively exercise faith. If we fail, he is with us to help pick up the pieces. If we succeed, he is with us cheering.
As Paul says, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Rom. 8: 28). Trust his Word.
We often ignore the latter part of this verse—called according to his purpose, not our purpose. If the trajectory of your life is turned to pursue him wholeheartedly, then all things good, bad, and ugly will work out in the end for your ultimate good. So you can act in freedom and boldness for decisions that need to be made within the boundaries of his revealed word.
The most beautiful reassurance we have in between jobs is the gift of Jesus. As Paul says, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Rom. 8:32)
