Idols of the heart can be murky waters. Just when you think you have identified and caught them, they can slip away like a slippery fish. The heart truly is deceitful above all things because I never thought ministry success had become an idol for me (Jer. 17:9).
I sincerely believed that I was doing everything for the glory of God till my husband and I relocated our church venue from the city centre to a nearby suburb. We had prayed about this and felt led by God. The church members generously supported the move with the rent and renovations. When we opened, the space was overflowing, prompting us to consider renting the adjacent space to create more capacity.
A few months later, one of our core leaders told us they were moving to another city. That news hit us hard, as they were a key pastoral couple. After that, every week, someone would tell us that they were planning to move to another city or country. We lost more than 25 percemt of the congregation over the next three months.
An Exposed Heart
Besides the pain of losing close friends and people we had mentored, the dwindling church numbers were shocking and heart-wrenching. My mind was overwhelmed with questions about how this had happened and whether we had missed God’s guidance. I harboured an unrecognised idol of success, feeling that God owed us because of our hard work and the strategic move we had made.
I came face-to-face with my subtle need for success and control as everything spiralled out of control. We could not control people’s jobs or relocations. Our church has always been a releasing church, but this time it felt like betrayal, even though that was not anyone’s intention. I felt depressed, disillusioned, confused, and exhausted.
My prayers sounded like this: “Lord, we wanted to pass the church to a younger leader and have a smooth transition. Why did you take these people away? We are retiring soon—will the church fold? You said you would build your church—now do it!”
My heart was arrogant and entitled. I felt that God had let us down or was teaching us a cruel lesson. The sin beneath the sin revealed the lie I was believing. God owed us because of all that we were doing for him.
A Repentant Heart
I recognise now how organisational systems and planning can feed the idol of control. Evangelism and outreach can subtly support the idols of ministry success, disguised as church growth.
New church plants often face spiritual warfare, and this battle exposed the idols of my heart. God revealed something in me that success would never have exposed. Even though I knew that the church belongs to God, I witnessed how easily my posture can shift from “your church” to “my church.”
I moved slowly from ranting to repentance, realising that God does not owe me anything, not even an explanation. In repentance, I acknowledged the sinful disposition of my heart and turned to God for forgiveness for my lack of trust. We can freely repent and acknowledge our sin because our God is gracious, kind, and forgiving (Ps. 103:8). Our repentance is not met with condemnation, but with the mercy and grace made available to us through Christ (Rom. 8:1; Rom. 5:1-2). Throughout the process, God had been graciously refining my heart, exposing what I have placed my hope in, and turning my gaze back to Christ.
A Believing Heart
The gospel can reorient our hearts even when the circumstances remain unchanged, as was the case for me. Our hope is not found in ministry outcomes, numbers, or successful transitions but in Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Heb. 12:2). We are loved and accepted by God, not because of what we do (Eph. 2:8). In Christ, we are fully loved and accepted by God because of his finished work (Eph. 1:6-7). The gospel replaces the lie that God has let us down with the truth that he will never leave us (Heb. 13:5). He will sustain us to the end (1 Cor. 1:8) and faithfully complete the work he has begun (Phil. 1:6).
As I dwelt on these truths, my perspective was restored. I needed to preach the gospel to myself and rest in the promise that Christ will indeed build his church (Matt. 16:18).
Our confidence is not in our ability to build, grow, or preserve the church, but in the finished work of the cross. Through Christ, God has reconciled all things to himself and is gathering a people to himself through the power of the gospel (Col. 1:19–20).
Is there an idol nesting in a crevice somewhere in your heart? The gospel invites us to surrender our idols and turn to God with the confidence that our identity and security are found in Christ alone (1 Thess. 1:9-10). In seasons of testing, our faith, which is more precious than gold, is being refined day by day for the praise, glory, and honour of Jesus Christ (1 Pet. 1:7).
When ministry seems to falter and when the idols of success and control are exposed, speak the gospel to yourself and rest in Christ and his finished work.
