Recent research shows that having our kids sit in church is one of the best things we can do for their long-term spiritual health.
Many Christian parents think that sending their children to Sunday School is enough for their spiritual growth. While Sunday School is invaluable for our kids, it is not enough. They also need to participate in ‘big church.’
Here are a few reasons why it is important for children to engage in the worship and fellowship of the wider church body, even from a young age, along with some tips on how we can do this practically.
Kids should see their parents submitting to God’s Word
When your children sit with you in church, they have ample opportunities to see you honouring God’s Word.
To begin with, just the act of putting away your phone and giving your attention to the preacher is a powerful indicator of your priorities in this age of devices and distractions.
After listening to a sermon together, you have a chance to discuss with your kids about how you are going to apply it in your life. A sermon on forgiveness that leads you to apologise to your spouse on the way home gives your kids a beautiful picture of you submitting to God’s Word.
Kids should see their parents humbling themselves in worship
Humility might not be the first word that comes to mind when you think about worship. But the act of singing passionately, raising your voice (even when it’s not melodious!) and joining in with the community to praise God all require humility.
It is important for your child to witness God’s grace moving to praise him. They get a front row seat every day to your discouragement, your sin, and your struggles. And yet when they see you sing, “Bless the Lord, O my soul. . .I will worship Your holy name,” or declare, “Lord I need you, oh, I need you,” they are gaining valuable insights into the nature of God and your dependence on him.
Kids should experience the full and diverse fellowship of the church
When we allow our kids to play outside during the church service, we are sending them a message that church is for adults only. When they sit with you, greet other families, hug the seniors, and get a peek at the brand-new baby, they learn that they, too, are a part of the church body.
It is valuable for them to see their CEO father sit and worship alongside someone who sweeps the street, or to see their stay-at-home mother hug the aunty who works in a corporate office.
When they experience church as a whole, they begin to learn valuable lessons about loving one another—especially as they watch you love and interact with your fellow believers in the context of the church service.
Practical Ways to Help Our Kids Sit in Church
We might appreciate the idea of our kids sitting in church in theory, but find it daunting to implement practically.
Our kids are not naturally wired to sit attentively for an entire service, and when you add in the distractions of other children running around outside, games and videos on the phone, and the snack table, it can feel like enjoying a service together as a family is an unattainable ideal. But here are some practical suggestions for how we can help our kids sit in church.
Start Early
The thought of sitting in church with a one- or two-year-old might seem intimidating at first, or even impossible. And yet having our kids with us in church as early as possible will only make it easier in the long run.
At the earliest ages, our goal should simply be to make it through the church service. Coming prepared with colouring books, quiet toys, and snacks will serve us well at this stage.
You will probably need to take them out of the service occasionally if they are getting fussy and disrupting others. You should also be aware that during these early years, you might not be able to engage fully in what is happening in the church service. But you are building a foundation in your child’s heart and mind that will be essential in the years to come.
Communicate Age-Appropriate Expectations
The expectation of taking sermon notes is not reasonable for a two-year-old. But it might be a helpful practice for a 6th grader. Keeping in mind your child’s personality and their maturity level will help you brainstorm reasonable expectations for them and then gradually build it up to sitting attentively and participating fully in church.
We also need to communicate our expectations to our kids clearly, ideally before we enter church. Do we expect them to stand during worship, rather than sitting in their chairs, doodling? Then we can tell them, “When we sing songs, we are worshipping God. I’d like you to stand up and sing along as well today. When the sermon starts, you can colour in your notebook.”
For older children, having a conversation with them where you set expectations together, taking their thoughts and feelings into consideration, is usually a good approach.
Don’t Worry About Kids Making Noise
Children will make noise during a church service. However, it is important to remember that children are not lesser members of the church—they are important members of the body in their own right. Their presence, though sometimes messy and distracting, is not a burden but a blessing.
So we do not need to be ashamed or embarrassed if our child whispers too loudly, lies on the ground to colour, or is struggling to sit in church, and we have to leave early. We can rest in the fact that our church family surrounding us will extend grace both to us and to our kids.
Having kids with you in church is an opportunity for the whole body of Christ to learn that God welcomes all people and considers them an important part of the body, including our kids. And hopefully everyone present is receiving a practical reminder that Jesus welcomed the little ones to himself—in all their messiness, authenticity, and humility.
Sitting together as a family in church is a process that takes intentionality, creativity, conversation, consistency, as well as a lot of trial and error. However, the spiritual benefit of your kids getting to witness submission to God’s Word, humility in worship, and receiving the church’s embrace in true fellowship is well worth the effort.
