In his letter to Christians, James wrote, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” I cannot imagine what he was going through when he wrote these words. It must not have been easy for him. But I am glad he wrote them as an eternal reminder for us.
I struggle with recurring kidney stone issues. Since 2005, I have had roughly twelve kidney stone pain attacks and three surgical procedures in the last 10 years.
The excruciating pain of a kidney stone ends with discarding an ugly, tiny object. Physical illness and pain affects the mind and the emotions too. I have carried the trauma of this pain for a long time. It makes me nervous when I travel, especially on long flights, as I do not know when the pain can resurface.
Once the kidney stone issue reoccurs, it takes between a month to six months to return to a normal rhythm. Most of those days are spent enduring all kinds of pain.
This summer, after an episode, I needed a surgical procedure. I was anxious because I knew what was ahead of me. As a result, I felt the pain more intensely. It is becoming harder for me to recover as I get older. The pain is becoming more unbearable.
As I reflected on this recent episode, here are three lessons I learnt about myself and God.
Chronic Illness Reveals My Heart’s Idols
Theologically, we treasure Jesus above all things. But functionally, we end up treasuring many other things. Among the many idols in my heart, pain threatens my love of comfort. I have a very low tolerance for pain. Whether it is emotional, physical, or psychological, I detest pain and will do anything to protect myself from it.
When I suffer from kidney stone pain, I resent it because it makes me unbearably uncomfortable. During such times, the words of James do not make any sense to me until my pain is relieved. But while it exposes my idolatry of comfort, it also gives me a glimpse of the pain Jesus endured on the cross on my behalf.
If there is one who deserves to bask in comfort, it is my heavenly king. Yet he gave himself up for me to endure the painful cross. Now he can not only be with me in my physical pain, but he delivers me from eternal torment and into eternal pleasure.
Chronic Illness Stirs Up Gratitude for Good Health
The psalmist praises God for making us fearfully and wonderfully, with delicate precision and care (Ps. 139:14). I can take no credit for the fact that my body and organs are working well. Many of us live in a world of excessive, unhealthy food consumption, along with infections, pollution, and unwise lifestyle choices. It is only by the grace of God that we are living and breathing.
Each time I suffer with pain, I remember to be grateful for the days I have been pain free. When I am visiting the doctor for the numerous tests, I am grateful for the organs I seldom think about that function well. As I lie in that stretcher and they take me into the operation theatre, I am grateful that I can trust my Saviour, who has my life in the palm of his hands.
Chronic Illness Creates a Longing for a New Body
The aches and pains in our bodies and of this world are a stark reminder that God created us for something more beautiful and eternal. Our body longs to be home in the true resurrected body. It groans to be in the presence of our Saviour, where there is no more pain or death. These words of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux put our longing into words.
“I am still on the other shore,
But sensing eternal happiness,
Oh! I would already like to leave this earth
And gaze on the wonders of Heaven…
When I dream of the joys of the other life,
I no longer feel the weight of my exile,
Since soon toward my only Homeland
I’ll fly for the first time……”
May you find true comfort in these words of Scripture and our hope in Christ. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor. 4:16).
Maranatha!
Come, Lord Jesus.
