Recently, my daughter and I went to an indoor wall-climbing gym. She has always loved climbing—in her crib, on window panes, in trees, or on walls, she is fearless and willing to climb any height. But at the gym, after she scaled a thirty-foot wall, I saw a hint of doubt in her eyes. She descended securely with the automatic belay. But in her subsequent climbs, doubt kept her from reaching the top.
How does doubt in God work out in our hearts? How can we keep it from holding us back in our pursuit of God?
Acknowledge When God Feels Distant
In Psalm 13, King David experiences a theological, personal, and social crisis. He asks, “How long will you hide your face from me?” (Ps. 13:1b) In the Scriptures, the image of God hiding his face signifies rejection. On the contrary, God turning his face toward someone means favour and blessings (Num. 6:26).
David feels God has forgotten and rejected him. He feels alone, vulnerable, and overwhelmed by God “hiding his face.” He uses the refrain “How long?” four times, which highlights his desperation.
David does not compartmentalise his life into social, political, or religious boxes. Rather he considers all of it hidden in God. So when he questions God’s availability and accessibility, it unravels his entire being. He experiences and honestly expresses internal and external chaos (Ps. 13:2).
Recognise When Doubt in God Leads to Despair
Doubt often follows unmet expectations which are informed by past experiences. For instance, when a child stops receiving what the parents always provide, it makes him question their goodness and love towards him.
Our doubt in God often stems from how we think he “failed” to meet our expectations. Maybe we expected to marry by a certain age, have children in the first few years of marriage, achieve specific academic accolades, accomplish greater things professionally, or simply receive better health and greater financial stability.
Any of these unmet expectations can throw us off completely. It can make us wonder, “Why is God withholding good things from me?” We may resign ourselves to a fatalistic view of life and begin to feel hopeless and bound to failure.
In God’s silence, David feels the web of death entangling him (Ps. 13:3a). Divine silence begets an ever-anxious heart, bouts of depressive thoughts, low self-esteem, and low self-worth.
How do we climb out of this deathly pit of doubt? How do we gain victory over this genuine battle?
Rest in the Assurance of the Father’s Faithfulness
Without providing any apparent reason, David’s countenance rises. His cries of despair give way to a confident assertion of God’s faithfulness (Ps. 13:5). Songs of sorrow turn into jubilant praise (Ps. 13:6). David’s situation has not changed. His circumstances continue to be dire. Then why does he suddenly burst into joy and experience a visceral assurance? Because his hope rests in the steadfast character of God.
While climbing, my daughter was concerned about descending a thirty-foot wall with an automatic pully system. But all her doubts vanished when she used the manual pully and I held the rope. She did not trust the well-crafted pully system. She trusted in her father’s grip and his words of assurance, “I’ve got you.”
“Dad, I feel secure when I know you are holding the rope,” she said.
Find Satisfaction in the Grace of Christ
Our doubt in God’s goodness, provision, and protection finds its ultimate satisfaction in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The cross frees us from the paradigm of despair and leads us to praise. Nothing in us deserved redemption. On the contrary, you and I relished being God’s enemies (Eph. 2:3). While we were in our worst state, Jesus died for us. If that is true, how much more will we see God’s goodness now that we have been redeemed?
This is the apostle Paul’s question that can answer our questions about God. He says, “For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, how much more, since we have been reconciled, will we be saved by his life?” (Rom. 5:10)
Instead of cowering in doubt, the writer of Hebrews encourages us to approach the throne of God with confidence, knowing that Jesus is our great high priest (Heb. 4:16). If Jesus continues to intercede for us, then we can be assured that he has not forgotten us. His delay or denial, even of good things, is not a rejection but his gift to us. So we must learn to enjoy what he has given without despairing over what he has withheld.
Enjoy the Loyal Love of God
David remembered God’s covenant with him, turning his darkness into a bright light. God promised that his loyal love would never depart David (2 Sam. 7:15). The love of God would pursue David all the days of his life (Ps. 23:6).
In the incarnation, this same love pursued us in Christ. God’s loyal love continues to pursue us in our doubts, grief, joys, and predicaments. Our doubts transform into declaring God’s praise as we gaze into the extravagant grace of our Lord Jesus.
So, silence your doubts by remembering God’s promises. Set up daily reminders on your phone that alert you of his promises at specific times during the day. Remind yourself that God’s loyal love will follow you throughout the days of your life. God is never silent. He always holds the rope as we ascend and descend the walls and valleys of our lives. He is there on the mountaintop and in the depths. God never forgets you. He is always with you.
