Divorce is not just painful—in India, it is taboo. As a pastor’s daughter who married a reverend, the end of my marriage was not just a personal heartbreak. It became a public spectacle. I remember the cold glances, shocked expressions, and hearing whispers behind my back. Life after divorce, for a woman in India, is not easy.
God wants his people to be a safe place for the hurting, but even the church felt like a courtroom. I was asked questions that cut deep, “Couldn’t you have just stayed? Didn’t you love him enough? Why didn’t you pray more?”
Such questions did not serve my healing. They only wounded me further. When I needed a hug from the body of Christ, I received silence. When I needed empathy, I received judgment. In my brokenness, the place I turned to for healing became a source of deeper pain.
People constantly reminded me of how hard life would become, how people would judge me, and how the stigma would follow me. And yet, in that darkness, God was not silent.
Despite what some Christians said, there were a precious few who served as agents of God’s grace. They reminded me that, even in this bitter experience, I was not alone. They pointed me back to the Lord—to the one who never leaves nor forsakes us. And they collectively said, “Yes, the road will be hard, but it will be okay. Healing is possible, redemption is real, and community is still worth pursuing.”
And they were right.
Life After Divorce is a Bitter Pill
Divorce is never easy. The emotional toll it takes is exhausting. The grief, shame, scrutiny, and loneliness—it all feels like too much. But in my weakest moments, God proved himself strong. When people failed me, God held me. When I cried out in the night, he listened. And when the silence of Christians hurt me, the voice of God comforted me.
God’s Promises are True
David’s cry in the psalms became my lifeline: “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Ps. 34:18).
God’s grace has been sufficient for me, not just to survive, but to live again. He has been my comforter, my healer, and my anchor. As the apostle Paul wrote, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). This promise sustained me on the days I had no strength of my own.
When I needed empathy, I received judgment.
While I thought my partner was forever, the Lord has repeatedly reminded me that my only true forever is Jesus. He is the lover of my soul, the one who knows me completely and loves me still. As the psalmist says, “He redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion” (Ps. 103:4).
This is what he has done, and continues to do, for me.
The Church Needs to Rely on the Gospel
In serving people who experience divorce, the church can do better. We must do better. God’s people should be a refuge, not a courtroom; a hospital for healing, not a place of punishment.
We are the body of Christ, who has redeemed our lives from the pit. When one part suffers, we all suffer. God calls us to carry each other’s burdens, not to add to them (Rom. 12:4-5, 1 Cor. 12:26, Gal. 6:2).
God’s grace has been sufficient for me; not just to survive, but to live again.
We must be a place for the broken-hearted to come as they are—with their wounds, pain, and yes, even their divorce. Through his people, God wants to hold out hope, healing, and a home so people can experience joy in life after divorce.
To those walking through the valley of divorce, I want to say, “You are not alone. You are not unloved. Your story is not over. The Lord is near to the broken-hearted. He redeems our life from the pit. He is faithful even when others are not. And he is good in the valley, not just on the mountaintop.”
This is not the life I imagined. But it is a life touched by the grace of God. And his grace has carried me through; it will carry you too.
