Dear Young Christians in India,
It is so encouraging that you have chosen to follow Christ and journey with him.
Since you are still young, you are at the stage of your life when most of it is ahead of you. I wonder what I would do if I had another opportunity to begin walking with God at your age. Would I live differently? Honestly, I can think of a few things I regret and many things for which I am grateful. So I thought I would share with you what has been going through my mind.
Firstly, I am most grateful that, early in life, I had an answer to an important question: “Who am I?” More accurately, “Whose am I?” Though I took time to grow in a deeper understanding of my identity, God put a foundation in place. He helped me rule out the many answers the world was offering me at the same time.
However, I regret that I was slow to learn the truth about my identity in Christ and my sense of belonging to him. At different stages in my life, I allowed other things to define my identity. My profession, my accomplishments, good works, and influence in ministry were always competing with my identity as a child of the living God (1 John 3:1).
Make your calling and election sure.
So I advise you to get the answer to this question clear in your mind and heart as early as possible. Make your calling and election sure (2 Pet. 1:10). Whose are you? Then live your life freely out of that sense of belonging and identity. This is our calling and the foundation of our lives. Even when all other identities rise and fall or come and go, this true identity will stand firm (John 10:27-30).
Secondly, I am grateful for clarity about why I am in this world. Especially as a professional, I felt the pressure from my peers to make my life all about me—my family, my children, my prestige, and all the positions I could earn. But I am grateful for mentors who came alongside and challenged me to see things differently. They showed me that my life, skills, knowledge, and talents are God’s gift to me. He gave me these things to love God and love my neighbours. Though there were times I struggled with some choices, today as I look back, I do not have any regrets about living for this purpose.
Why are you in this world? What will you do with this one life God has given you as a gift? Will you live for yourself or will you live to glorify God and be a blessing to others? When we give ourselves to God’s purposes, we receive deep fulfilment. God’s pattern is to put his kingdom before our needs. As we prioritise his kingdom, he provides for our needs (Matt. 6:33).
Thirdly, you might think that when I was growing up, life was less complicated. It is true we did not live in the ‘virtual space’ or the era of the ‘technology of knowledge.’ But our battles were with the same enemies—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life (1 John 2:16).
As we prioritise his kingdom, he provides for our needs
Every generation faces the temptation to choose a life of self-sufficiency, dominated by our senses and desires (Eph. 2:1-3). But I am thankful that God provided me with a group of like-minded peers (2 Tim. 2:22). We challenged each other to guard our hearts, eyes, and thoughts. It is not that we were without fault. But the company of godly people brought us back on track. We helped each other turn to God to enable us to walk in his ways (Phil. 2:12-13).
Remember that your character of life matters. Run in the company of godly friends who will keep you on track. Because our Lord and master wants us to be holy because he is holy (1 Pet. 1:14-16). Guard your mind, heart, and soul by yearning for thoughts, emotions, and desires that God wants you to have (Phil. 4:8-9). But remember that it is only God’s strength that can keep us pure and holy, not the strength of our resolve (1 Thess. 5:23-24).
Fourthly, one thing I do not regret is my choice of companion. We lived in India’s pre-dating era. Our parents chose whom to marry and we submitted ourselves to their choice. But we had the freedom to be honest and upfront with each other about our desires and thoughts. I am grateful the Lord gave me a companion who was more committed than me—to journeying with God, contributing to his kingdom purposes, and devoted to a life of character. Yes, there are many things about which we agreed to disagree. We are different in many ways. But that did not prevent us from growing in Christ together. In the early years of our marriage, my only regret is that I should have listened to her more than I did.
Whom you choose to marry is a crucial choice. Pray and ask the Lord to give you a companion who will walk with you in your journey of calling, contribution, and character. Do not worry too much about compatibility. But make a commitment to live and journey together for life, embracing all your differences. If by any chance, you decide to live a life of celibacy, be sure that it is God’s calling for you. Do not be celibate out of fear of committing or for any such reasons. If things do not go as you desire in this matter, remember that the Lord is our salvation, not marriage.
Wherever God leads you to go, be sure to grow with a community
Fifthly, I wish I had taken things more lightly. I wanted to be in control and to plan my life well. But over time, I came to realise that my planning and control create more stress, confusion, and challenges. Plans are important but they cannot take control of your heart. It is more desirable to create space for God to lead, instead of being led by the desire for control. I am still on the journey of learning to hand control over to God. If I learned it much earlier, I could have avoided so much heartache for myself and those close to me.
So learn not to take yourself too seriously. Hand over control into God’s hands. He knows what is best for us. By all means, make plans and have desires about how your life should be. But do not let them control you. It may be uncomfortable to live with uncertainty and lack of clarity. But this is good. It is an opportunity for you to set aside independence from God and live with dependence on him. Allow the Lord to lead you and find freedom in walking with him.
Finally, my wife and I have lived in many parts of India but God always gave us a community of faith to whom we can belong. Some of them were challenging, others were wonderful. But there was always a community to grow with. Even challenging communities were transformational experiences for us and became instrumental in moulding us. What I regret is that I was often more eager to receive than I was to give. I now know I could have grown more if I had been willing to give more.
Wherever God leads you to go, be sure to grow with a community. If you make it your desire to serve more than you are served, you may find that you will receive more than you can imagine (Mark. 10:45, Acts 20:35).
With love,
A grateful servant of Christ
