Just a few years ago I was a strong healthy young woman expecting our first child. To prepare for becoming a mother, I did my research. I planned everything, charted all the big and small pregnancy moments, and chatted with the veteran moms. I studied everything—the books, websites, apps and blogs. If becoming a mother was a game, I was on top of it.
I followed the doctor’s instructions to the tee—the healthy diet, exercise—and all my ultrasounds, and blood tests were normal. There was no possible way for anything to violate my plans. Or so I thought. But in week 38 of my pregnancy, my doctor said, “Your baby is in breech. Somehow it has to come down to the normal position.”
In my meticulous plans for becoming a mother, there was no space for “somehow.”
Up until then, everything was going great. In a few weeks, I was going to have a perfectly healthy baby, the most natural way. Or so I thought. This disruption was not part of the plan.
Becoming a Mother
For the first time in my preparation, I felt anxious. Instantly, it became clear how nothing was in my control. How do I ‘somehow’ change the position of the baby inside me? If a health professional was depending on ‘somehow,’ what could I do?
I remember feeling so small, vulnerable, and helpless when I went into this journey so confident and adamant.
To be clear, there was nothing seriously wrong. In actuality, modern healthcare is so advanced a breech baby is not as serious as other things expectant parents may have to go through. But you cannot reason with anxiety. In that moment, what the doctor told me was normal felt like the end of the world.
I remember feeling so small, vulnerable, and helpless though I went into this journey so confident and adamant. I thought I knew everything and everything was under control. We needed “someone” to “somehow” intervene in our lives. I needed to turn to this “someone,” cry out to him and receive comfort from him.
My illusion of control was fading and the reality of the gospel was dawning. I needed to depend on God and run to him as his child—simple, vulnerable, and messy.
Childlike Dependence
When the disciples asked Jesus a childish question, he called them to be childlike. In the Gospel of Matthew, it says, “At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:1-4)
“Who is the greatest?”
His answer to this question silenced the audience and his disciples. Then he proclaimed the greatest in the kingdom of God: the ones who become like children.
If I want to be a better parent with my children, I need to learn to be like a child with my heavenly Father.
Humility is unnatural for adults but comes naturally to children. They are dependent by nature. Jesus knew that our independence from him must turn into dependence on him.
Infants are vulnerable. They are not as competent as adults in cheating or deceiving anyone. They do not appear to be threatening or intimidating. Far from being in control, they are simply dependent. To such is bestowed the crown of the “greatest of his kingdom.”
When you are a child you will cling to your parents when you face something terrifying. A child will not boast in their strength at a time of fear. Unlike grown ups, a child will not be ashamed to cry out for the comfort, security, and love of their caregivers.
Learning to Become a Child
In a few days, my baby girl turned on her own. Then after some days of weeping and praying, I had the natural delivery I wanted. Since then, I have had all kinds of days with children—sick days, hospital days, stubborn children days, disciplining children days, hard school days, and “I can’t do it anymore” days. Along with such days, there were so many helpless, tired, and prayerful “mummy moments.”
In his grace, Jesus undermines my need for control by showing me I need to depend on my heavenly Father more than anything. When I am most dependent, he is most dependable (Rom. 5:8, John 1:12-13). If I want to be a better parent with my children, I need to learn to be like a child with my heavenly Father.
“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are” (1 John 3:1).
