Before moving to India, I read books on planting a church, conversed with numerous planters, and diligently recorded valuable insights and wisdom gleaned from their personal experiences.
When I asked a church planter what one thing he wished he had known about church planting, he said, “You need humility, curiosity, and to admit you don’t actually know anything about church planting.”
It was encouraging to learn from planters that we need to approach church planting as learners rather than experts. They emphasised hard truths, such as the inevitability of experiencing moments of loneliness, and the necessity of investing time and patience in the planting process. I am still learning to immerse myself in the context, language, demographics, and culture of my city.
The Unique Calling of a Planter’s Wife
As a church planter’s wife, several pastor’s wives have told me I have a unique calling to walk with my husband, to spend more time reading the Bible than reading books, to expect and learn how to handle criticism, to recognise that making friends will be challenging, and to understand the importance of rest.
By God’s grace, through the collected wisdom and experience of others, I have come to embrace the sober reality of planting and have developed an understanding of the importance of cross-cultural church planting. While they are important, these are four things I wish I learned before beginning this journey.
What Story Are You Telling Yourself?
Reflect on the beliefs you hold about yourself and your calling. It is vital to recognise the false narratives you might believe about your calling, people, or yourself. When challenges or conflicts arise, the enemy will exploit your insecurities to twist them into deceitful narratives about all three things. Distinguish between the deceptive voice of the enemy and the reassuring voice of God. It is important to remind ourselves of God’s truth about our identity and situation.
Are You a Non-Anxious Presence?
It is natural for the heart to become anxious when unexpected challenges arise. However, this anxiety can bleed into others, causing them to feel stressed. It is important for you to ask yourself if you are an anxious or non-anxious person. Write down all the things that bring in stressors or worries. Recognise what you are carrying into the rooms that you find yourself in. Process and bring those thoughts before the Lord (Ps. 94:19).
It is vital to recognise the false narratives you might believe about your calling.
As 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” This encourages us to release our anxieties and burdens unto the Lord, trusting in his deep care and concern for us. Accepting this reality can transform us into a calm and composed presence, showing our reliance on God’s provision through how we manage stress and uncertainty. This also empowers us to reveal a glimpse of faith to others in our lives.
Are You a Learner?
Are you willing to learn from the situations that you find yourself in? Planting a church inevitably comes with challenging circumstances. For every difficult situation, there is an opportunity to learn and grow. Take time to pause and reflect on what you can learn. Consider what you would have done differently in arduous situations.
Embracing grief and gratitude is an essential part of navigating change.
Reflecting on what we learn from the challenges we face enables us to evaluate our reactions, intentions, and progress. It leads us to wisdom and maturity.
God’s Word encourages us to acknowledge the significance of every trial. It helps us realise God uses these situations to make us better and strengthen our trust in him (Ps. 18:6, Rom. 8:28).
How Different Are You Now from When You Started?
Noticing how you have changed is key to understanding yourself better. Without reflection, you may feel impatient or upset when things do not feel familiar. You may feel stuck in old patterns and experience more dissatisfaction than growth if you resist change. As you grow and learn, you will notice that you are not the person you used to be. Things that once mattered may not be as important now. You might find your friendships, personality, views, and interests changing.
It is appropriate to feel grief about things that are different, as well as gratitude for the lessons and growth they bring. Embracing grief and gratitude is an essential part of navigating change. It helps you become a better leader. Following Jesus is a direct call to abandon old behaviours and thought patterns that lead us away from God. It invites us to embrace a new identity that reflects God’s righteousness and holiness. It captures the core of spiritual and personal growth as a process of letting go of the old life and embracing the new self in Christ (Eph. 4:22-24, 2 Cor. 3:18).
I am confident that my church planting journey will be a constant experience of learning. May God continue to teach me, enable my heart to trust in his guidance, and help me find comfort in his calling.
