As I reflect on our adoption journey, it feels like just yesterday that our son was unknown to us, tucked away in an orphanage in North India. But now this precious boy has become an intricate part of our lives. While adopting children has its challenges, the Father’s love, guidance of the Holy Spirit, and sacrificial love of Jesus encourage Christians to welcome orphans into their homes.
The Plight of Many Sons and Daughters of the Soil
A 2014 UNICEF report estimates that 29.6 million children in India lack the love and care of a family. Their hope of adoption, in no small part, is the responsibility of the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA). Unfortunately, CARA faces challenges with long processes, limited NGO partnerships, and an adoption message that fails to resonate with our people.
Honestly, the idea of adopting a child with special needs terrified me.
On CARA’s online platform, an orphan’s profile greets you with a photo and blurb about the child. “Hearing loss in the right ear, underweight” was hardly a humanising description of our baby boy. It simply did not capture his big personality, strong spirit, and zest for life.
Our hearts sank when we learned of his previous adoption. After a poor medical examination, his first adoptive parents returned him. India’s “least of these” cry out for a redeemed view of children, parenthood, and family.
Embracing our Heavenly Father’s Heart for Orphans
Our son arrived on this planet weighing a mere kilogram. In the affidavit his biological parents submitted, they explain the financial hardships that forced them to surrender their premature baby. Rather than abandoning him on a street corner or tossing him in a dumpster, they patiently laboured with the orphanage to do the right thing. Sharing this part of the story honours their nobility and dispels any notion of heroism on our part.
On many days, we struggled with our identity as adoptive parents
Honestly, the idea of adopting a child with special needs terrified me. Every video call with my son was an exercise in observing potential developmental delays. But when I finally held him in my arms for the first time, there was a profound shift in my heart. My eyes, once veiled, were opened to see the radiant and clear imago Dei shining through our beautiful child.
Thanks be to God that his adoption of us not only sets the standard for human adoption but surpasses it in every way. As spiritual orphans, we were adrift and lost. We were broken and injured beyond repair. How could we dare to dream of a place in God’s perfect family?
Yet, he adopts us with open arms, embracing each of us with our unique needs. We are not mere faces in the celestial family portrait. The gospel announces that God cherishes us individually, gives us a new name, and presents us with glowing joy to the heavenly host.
Seeking Guidance from the Holy Spirit as Adoptive Parents
When we left the adoption home, our son did not make a sound. We thought it was strange, but we were also caught up in the moment and grateful for the unexpectedly smooth transition.
However, over the next five months, we desperately longed for a sign of attachment from our son. Patiently, we looked for anything to ease our growing fear of estrangement. We wanted to believe he just needed more time as we endured long stretches of what felt like emotional distance. We yearned for the day when he would see us not just as temporary caregivers but as his forever home.
Thanks be to God that his adoption of us not only sets the standard for human adoption but surpasses it in every way
On many days, we struggled with our identity as adoptive parents. Thankfully, the Spirit of God comforted our weariness with the soothing balm of Scripture. Time and again, the Holy Spirit gently revealed to us that we were acting as possessors rather than stewards of our covenant child.
Far from reflecting the sacrificial, long-suffering, and covenantal love of the Father, our parent-child relationship had become cold and transactional. But with time, we experienced healing as we began to perceive our relationship with our son as God intended.
In an unforgettable moment in December 2023, with single-minded determination our son ignored other outstretched arms, and crawled straight to my feet. Cherished moments like these serve as vivid reminders during challenging times. We have experienced everything from sleepless nights comforting a child grappling with trauma, to the frustration of missed developmental milestones. Through it all, the unwavering comfort of the Spirit has supplied us with enduring strength.
Establishing a Covenant Family Through the Son of God
Our family celebrated a spiritual milestone on October 8th, 2023. On that blessed Lord’s Day, our son, asleep in our presbyter’s arms, entered our covenant community through the waters of baptism.
As the melody of the beloved Sunday school song “Jesus Loves Me” echoed around the church, he awoke, and looked around to see his new and extended family celebrating his welcome.
My wife and I named our son Nahaliel, which means ‘God is my inheritance.’ This Hebrew name captures our hope and prayer that he will one day call God “Abba! Father!” with the confidence of a true son.
Russell Moore rightly points out, “Without the theological aspect, adoption risks being seen as mere charity; without the missional aspect, it risks being seen as mere metaphor.”
In other words, orphans are more than just recipients of Christian pity or charity. They are children worthy of Jesus’s love, attention, and a place in his family. As his ambassadors, we can extend God’s love to orphans by opening our hearts and homes to them.
