Recently, I have been asked several times to share on leadership in the church. My thoughts on this topic usually revolve around what I see as a major struggle for young leaders these days: insecurity.
It’s not unusual for me to see a young pastor who is godly, gifted, and has sound theological convictions, yet still finds himself frustrated by relational conflict in his church, members stagnating in their spiritual growth, and people (or staff) regularly exiting the church. Of course, there may be many reasons for these issues, but I have very often observed that they originate with the leader himself. He is insecure, and most often, he himself does not seem to realise it.
Recognising Leadership Insecurity
Insecurity in leaders is sometimes difficult to recognise because insecure leaders often come across as strong and confident. But beneath the veneer of outward strength, deep insecurities surface in various ways, many of them unexpected. Here are some ways I have observed leadership insecurity expressing itself.
1. Control
Insecure leaders often want to micromanage their environments. For instance, wanting to know everything happening in the church, needing to be involved in all decision-making, and trying to manage how people interact with one another. Insecure leaders constantly feel like they are under attack, so by controlling their settings, they think they can identify threats before they strike.
2. Need to prove oneself
Insecure leaders are not aware (or have forgotten) their place and worth before God and in the world. Therefore, they feel like they are always on trial and constantly need to demonstrate their value and significance to others. For this reason, insecure leaders also tend to take criticism personally, viewing it as an attack on their character and abilities. In this way, insecure leaders give their people a lingering sense that it’s all about them and that they are ultimately only promoting themselves.
3. Comparison and jealousy
Insecure leaders find it hard to get along with other leaders because they are always competing with them–for numbers, for funds, and for respect. Insecure leaders tend to think of people in hierarchical terms, which makes it difficult for them to work in teams.
4. Anxiety
Insecure leaders find it hard to relax. There is always too much to manage, especially when everything that is happening is understood as either a threat or a judgment of your value and abilities. Far from being a “non-anxious presence,” insecure leaders tend to raise the level of nervousness in most rooms they enter.
Insecurities in leadership make it difficult to gain people’s trust, and so insecure pastors find it challenging to shepherd their churches well.
On the other hand, secure leaders evince a generosity of spirit that is very attractive to people: they listen to others’s opinions, they do not always need to be right, they genuinely want to see others grow (and even surpass themselves), and they truly seem to be at peace in themselves. That is a kind of leader that most people are eager to follow!
How to Be a Secure Leader
Here are a few thoughts on how we can become more secure as leaders:
Know Who You Are in Christ
As I have grown in my walk with Christ over the years, I have realised more and more that so much of life and ministry comes back to my identity: Who am I? How do I view myself? Where do I find my value and significance? If we find our identity in our performance, our respect, or our “success” in ministry, then we will always be insecure, because these are all shifting foundations on which to build our lives.
Only in Christ do we come to understand ourselves truly as believers: in Christ we are loved, accepted, valuable. victorious, strong, significant, and children of God (1 John 3:1, Rom. 15:7, Matt. 10:29-31, Rom. 8:37, 2 Cor. 12:9, 2 Cor. 5:20, John 1:12).
Understanding how fabulously rich—and how absolutely safe—we are in Christ makes us deeply secure. In Christ, I already have everything I could ever dream of, so now I am free to live for God and for others (and not for myself). Meditating regularly on who we are in Christ is one of the most helpful things that Christian leaders can do to become secure people.
Understand Your Limitations
We must constantly remember that ministry is all about God, not ourselves. We are simply slaves of Christ (Gal. 1:10), who, after everything is said and done, can only say, “We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty” (Luke 17:10).
Striving to be more than who God created us to be will always result in insecurity. Instead, accepting how God has made us results in deep rest for our souls. We must simply do our best for God with the grace that he has given us, and leave the rest in God’s loving hands. Humility and security go hand in hand in Christian leadership.
Be Grateful
Cultivating a heart of thankfulness is a powerful means of becoming more secure. Gratitude reminds us that everything we are and have comes from God alone. As Paul says, “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Cor. 4:7).
Gratitude helps us to focus on the 99 things that God has already blessed us with, rather than the one thing we are still waiting for. Giving thanks also reminds us that God has been so good to us in the past, which gives us tremendous confidence to keep trusting him for the future.
Christian leadership that flows out from an appreciation of who we are in Christ, a recognition of who God has made us to be, and a heart of gratitude will inevitably be strong, humble, and secure. It brings glory to God and blesses his people.
