When I recently hit another birthday milestone, my son quipped, “Dad, you are halfway to becoming ninety.”
As I reflect on my life, I have a desire for myself this year. I hope you can make it your desire too. It is a desire for more gentleness in my life.
In the process of growing as a husband, father, and pastor, I am curious about how people see me. But I feel certain of one thing. I do not think people identify me with gentleness.
I grew up in the era of the angry protagonists in Indian cinema like Amitabh Bachchan and Rajinikanth. Gentleness was not a prized value in society. None of my peers aspired to be more gentle with one another. Even in Christian ministry, we can highly esteem things like vision, passion, mission, faith, and courage. But we do not prize gentleness this way.
Yet, our Saviour is gentle and lowly (Matt. 11:29).
The more I look up this word in Scripture, the more it fascinates me to see how central gentleness is to the gospel (Eph. 2:4-7).
God the Father is Gentle
The psalmists remind us of the gentleness and compassion of God. In Psalm 103:13 it says, “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.”
The prophet Isaiah reveals God’s character through the image of a gentle shepherd, “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young” (Isa. 40:11).
Contrary to popular perception, the God of the Old Testament is gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love (Jonah. 4:2-3).
God the Son is Gentle
How can we not hear the tenderness of Christ in his words? In Matthew 11:29 he says, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
In his book Gentle and Lowly, Dane Ortlund says, “This is who he is. Tender. Open. Welcoming. Accommodating. Understanding. Willing. If we are asked to say only one thing about who Jesus is, we would be honouring Jesus’s own teaching if our answer is, gentle and lowly.”
Gentleness is central to the nature of Jesus.
God the Spirit is Gentle
John describes the Holy Spirit descending upon Jesus at his baptism like a dove from heaven. A dove is not a predatory bird like an eagle or a hawk. It is gentle, harmless, and peaceful.
As a follower of Christ, I am convinced that one virtue that needs to be visible and growing in a disciple’s life is the virtue of gentleness. It is the fruit of the Spirit and it will be evident in anyone who is living a Spirit-filled life (Gal. 5:22-23).
Gentleness is not optional. It is an essential mark of a maturing disciple (Matt. 5:3-12).
Gentleness in Ministry
The apostle Paul has instructions for people in ministry about gentleness. He says, “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth” (2 Tim. 2:24).
The way we shepherd, teach, love, and serve people is through a spirit of gentleness. There is no room for an abrasive, harsh, and rude posture in ministry. If there is one virtue that should be on display 24/7 and “evident to all,” it is gentleness (Phil. 4:5).
A Gentleness Test
So here are some questions for myself and for you this year. It is a personal reflection to get a measure of our gentleness.
- The Eyewitness Test: If people were to choose one word to describe you, would that word be gentle? Why or why not?
- The Approachability Test: Am I approachable as a person? Do people want to come to me because they find me encouraging and gracious? What about my children? Do they see me as a gentle father or mother? What about friends? Do they draw near to me because of my kindness and compassion?
- The Defensive Test: How do I take feedback from others, especially criticism? Do I get defensive? Are people afraid to confront me about my sin? Or do they find me teachable and willing to listen? How do I respond to people with views that differ from me? Am I reasonable and considerate to the views of others or am I easily offended or stubbornly insistent about my views?
Jesus purchased our redemption on the cross through his gentleness (Matt. 21:5, Isa. 53:7).
May we grow in this gospel virtue in such a manner that people are pleasantly shocked and surprised by our gentleness. May we treat people gently because they are God’s image-bearers, so they feel valued, encouraged, and honoured. And may Christ delight in you as you grow in his likeness.
